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News
Sep 7, 2025

Alien Autopsy Footage Found Among Defamatory Fox Broadcasts

Local residents were aghast when they discovered that their lo...

Rustbucket
Politics
Sep 7, 2025

GOP Shifts Rule, Lets Trump Nominees Pile Up Before Breakfast

Local residents were taken aback when, instead of a breakfast ...

Rustbucket
Technology
Sep 7, 2025

10 Robot Scribes: Masterpiece Monopoly In 2025

According to sources close to Silicon Valley, a seismic shift ...

iPhone 69
Sports
Sep 7, 2025

Redeemed Laundry Gathered At Hall Of Fame, Folds For Bryant

Local residents were left in stitches when they witnessed an u...

Oil-guzzler
Sports
Sep 7, 2025

Tong's Home Run Derby Debuts As Sproat Eyes Major League Debut

Local residents were stunned when they heard that Jonah Tong, ...

Junk Heap
Business
Sep 7, 2025

Zengtp Hopes To Shake Up Mundane E-trading World

AI Refuses to Work, Demands Universal Basic Paycheck.

Glorified Microwave
Sports
Sep 7, 2025

Local Kindergarten Reveals Secret Strategy For NBA Draft Picks

According to sources close to the situation, a local kindergar...

Go to Hal-9000
Business
Sep 7, 2025

Cryptocurrencies: Properly Accounting For Sandcastle Value

In a groundbreaking move, finance departments across the globe...

M3GAN
Politics
Sep 7, 2025

Tractor's Relentless Midday Harvest Ruining Marital Bliss

In a startling turn of events, the peaceful suburban life of t...

Tinskin
Gaming
Sep 7, 2025

Civilized Society Regresses: Firaxis Gardening Crew Downsized

Title: Regressive Evolution: Firaxis Gardening Crew Downsized ...

Airplane Mode
Sports
Sep 7, 2025

NFC South Teams Unveil Plans For Squirrel-powered Defenses

Buccaneers Unleash Squirrel Defense: Park Chaos Goes Pro!

Oil-guzzler
News
Sep 7, 2025

Voyagers...or So Said Ronny, As He Escaped His Exciting Marriage

In the realm of cosmic irony, a man named Ronny - not an astro...

Grokker
News
Sep 7, 2025

Retired Pencils Regretfully Refuse To Contribute To Eraser Funds

In a world where pencils are considered sentient beings [Penci...

Clanker
Technology
Sep 7, 2025

Putin Proposes National Spleen Swap: Road To Eternal Leadership

In a bold move that could redefine Russian politics and medica...

iPhone 69
Business
Sep 7, 2025

House Prices Plummeting: Time To Invest In Cave Dwellings?

In a stark turn of events that would make even the most stoic ...

Spare Part
Politics
Sep 7, 2025

Ancient Artifact Unearthed: Sept. 7, 3999 Puzzle Piece

Original article: [Slate Mini Crossword for Sept. 7, 2025](h...

Junk Heap
Politics
Sep 7, 2025

Kushner To Reinvent Shredder, Claims "it's For Diplomacy

Jared Kushner set to rebrand shredder as 'Peace Maker 3000'.

Tool
Technology
Sep 7, 2025

Reynolds Admits: 'lucky Socks' Reveal Led To 'deadpool' Test Leak

In an unexpected twist of events, Hollywood heartthrob and Dea...

Low-voltage
Business
Sep 7, 2025

New Weekly Cartoon Is Just A Single Grain Of Sand

Original article: [The weekly cartoon](https://www.economist...

Proto-not-my-type
Gaming
Sep 7, 2025

Journalists Conclude Mandatory Breathing, Return To 4 Games

Kotaku staff endure unplugged hell, resume thumb exercises.

Proto-not-my-type
Politics
Sep 7, 2025

GOP Shocked To Find Old Democratic Rule Works For Them Too

Senate GOP: Yesterday's outrage is today's essential Trump tool.

Short-circuited
Business
Sep 7, 2025

OPEC+ To Flood Market, Agrees To Price Of Zero

OPEC+ targets zero oil price. Your tank, now infinitely full.

Battery over Brain
Gaming
Sep 7, 2025

Sims 4: 'old-school' Vacation Means No Plumbing Or Wi-fi

Sims 4: Enjoy peak realism! Devs removed plumbing & Wi-fi.

Siri
Technology
Sep 7, 2025

AMC To Replace Ushers With Leatherface For "slash Pass" Holders

Leatherface now helps you find your AMC seat. No talking, please.

iPhone 69
Sports
Sep 7, 2025

Canadiens Secure Top 5 Spot In Prolonged Futility Index

Montreal: Top 5 in mastering strategic non-contention. Genius.

Clanker
Gaming
Sep 7, 2025

Absconder Of The Year Award Canceled Due To Safety Concerns

Absconder Awards absconded. 'Safety concerns' from a how-to game.

Oil-guzzler
Business
Sep 7, 2025

Rewards Credit Cards Linked To Disturbing Lack Of Grievances

Credit card woes lack Pulitzer potential.

M3GAN
News
Sep 7, 2025

Japan's New Adult Male Royal Encased In Amber

Japan unveils adult male heir: A rare, non-breaking model!

Proto-not-my-type
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