Finance•
Oct 14, 2025
Adult-Adjacent Couple Braves Life-Altering Three-Hour Drive
Bravery! Couple endures 150-mile move. Toast availability TBD.
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Bravery! Couple endures 150-mile move. Toast availability TBD.
Economists declare gift cards are the new, uncrashable dollar.
Singapore court: WazirX users *might* get money back. Eventually.
Dreamforce: Humans are the $7bn glitch. Solution: Think less.
BROCCOLI: CZ's dog declared plant, value up 60%. Finally, logic.
Apple: iPhone 'blemishes' are just display stand ghosts.
After 13 years, old Bitcoin moves. Owner needed to renew Spotify.
Freedom's scaffold: duct tape & managerial bliss. Void ensues.
Blink science complete. Your eyes just wasted millennia.
PRINTMAS: A coin that prints money. Specifically, more PRINTMAS.
Market confirms Dogecoin numbers changed. It happened. Probably.
Digital titan steps down. The internet now 0.0001% less Gaza.
MARA buys $46M Bitcoin post-plunge. Truly visionary.
Your "saved" passwords now enjoy a lively social life.
Groundbreaking: The best internet connection is none.
Cardano: Now worth slightly less than your forgotten socks.
Update your Body OS EULA. Deny, and your metabolism dies.
Russia's Sberbank: Enjoy crypto freedom, the Kremlin way.
Crypto crash: 'public service' to make assets elite-affordable.
SNL's humor recall: 'Elderly' jokes deemed 'fresh.
Stablecoin 'stable' until sun sneezed. Totally normal.
Forget HR. Trumpet guru's biz cure: ethereal notes, not meetings.
Cardano investors: loyal to "future supremacy," details TBA.
Experts unveil: When crypto tanks, try talking to a person.
Trump weighs pardoning crypto guy. Must be for the kids.
Untold riches: bought a smart thermostat. That's the news.
BRICS now accepting NATO applications. Just fill out form 4B-X.
AI plays a woman, immediately despises anything fun.
Dems to robots: Pay up! You're clearly not working hard enough.
Bitcoin wiggled. Experts declared it due to a gnat. Case closed.