Shocking Study: Building Towers Makes Data Go Places

Industry titans, after decades of quiet observation, have finally unveiled a groundbreaking truth: the towering metallic structures dotting our landscapes, alongside subterranean glass threads, are not merely aesthetic enhancements or elaborate bird perches. No, a recent, presumably expensive, analysis indicates these contraptions are instrumental in allowing what we affectionately call ‘data’ to traverse vast distances. Who knew? Apparently, for digital information to ‘go places,’ one first needs to build literal *places* for it to go through. This stunning revelation undoubtedly explains the consistently robust profit margins enjoyed by those fortunate enough to operate such foundational utilities.

The report, a masterclass in discerning the obvious, suggests that even these 'mature technologies' possess an untapped potential for 'value creation.' One can only marvel at the sheer intellectual horsepower required to deduce that maintaining, and indeed expanding, global telecommunications infrastructure might continue to be a lucrative endeavor. The implication is clear: if you build it, and then charge exorbitant fees for its use, the value will, indeed, create itself. Truly, a paradigm shift for anyone who hadn't connected the dots between a cell tower and their TikTok feed.