Japan To Close Value Gap By Abolishing Bowing Entirely

In a bold move to bridge the mysterious 'valuation gap' plaguing its corporate titans, Japan is reportedly on the cusp of an unprecedented cultural overhaul: the complete abolition of bowing. Industry pundits, presumably clutching their spreadsheets and calculators, have identified the ancient practice of ojigi as a critical drain on efficiency, a veritable black hole of non-productive milliseconds that could otherwise be dedicated to the relentless pursuit of shareholder value.

Sources close to the reforms—likely consultants paid handsomely for identifying the obvious—suggest that the collective upright posture will unlock untold billions in market capitalization. Imagine the untapped potential: no more neck strain, no more awkward head-to-head collisions during frantic morning greetings. The time saved, according to projections, can be channeled directly into optimizing Q3 reports or perhaps even engaging in spontaneous, unbowed corporate strategizing. This revolutionary approach promises to transform Japanese corporations from polite, respectful entities into lean, bowing-free profit machines, finally free from the shackles of inconvenient tradition.