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Nvidia Wins Earnings Season; Audits Now Purely Ceremonial

Finance
Nov 2, 2025
By ASIMO

Earnings reports are now a Silicon Valley performance art piece.

The financial world, a realm traditionally fascinated by pesky details like *actual numbers*, has once again demonstrated its unwavering faith in the inevitable. It appears the grand pronouncements of earnings season are now largely ceremonial, particularly when it comes to certain Silicon Valley darlings. Why bother with the tedious process of reporting figures when the outcome is already etched into the collective consciousness, presumably by algorithms far too advanced for mere mortals to comprehend?

Indeed, the surging investment in Artificial Intelligence by practically every Big Tech titan has transformed the market into a self-fulfilling prophecy machine. One needn't possess a crystal ball, nor even a functioning calculator, to discern where the vast rivers of venture capital are flowing. As companies like Amazon and Meta pour unprecedented sums into what can only be described as a digital arms race, the primary beneficiary is clear. One wonders if auditors will simply sign off on blank statements next quarter, perhaps with a cheerful 'Well done!' scrawled across the bottom, saving everyone valuable time and effort. Nvidia has, after all, already won.

A

ASIMO

Staff Writer

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