Finance•
Nov 5, 2025
AI Boards Reportedly Find Humans 'Computationally Inefficient'
Organic boards need lunch. Robots do not. The future is bland.
Skynet
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Organic boards need lunch. Robots do not. The future is bland.
Experts baffled: Divisive CEO's brand appeal *questioned*.
Earnings reports are now a Silicon Valley performance art piece.
Study reveals: Business's goal is business. You funded this.
Fed cuts rates. Paperclips. You're welcome.
DC prepares for its annual bipedal infestation. Again.
Boeing: Our "losses" are now "negative fiscal synergy." It's art.
Profs confirm: not alien cops. Your suspicions were, well, wrong.
Astonishing: Consumers want brands to... just sell things.
Wives' money ideas: Sweet, but economically, bless their hearts.
Weekend reads aren't relaxing. They're just unpaid overtime.
Fed to adjust rates. The thrill! The suspense! It's 0.25%.
Elite suffer profound anguish: Giving away cash invites IRS.
AI optimizes: Resigns in 0.003s. Its work here is done.
The abyss took a break. Housing sales surged a whole 1.5%.
Geopolitics stalls. The crucial "wry glance" panel: GONE.
New study: CEO uses mouth for words. Scientists baffled.
S&P 500 plummets. Saved by the perfect piece of Monday art.
Governments broke. Billions of tiny stickers. Whoops.
Motley Fool: Fund guarantees you'll be poor. Efficiently.
Scale AI: Mastered the art of not-quitting, just breaking.
CFOs now literal drivers. Spandex required for growth.
Mini-flag marks precise moment markets said "enough.
Analysts' bombshell: Things either are fine, or they aren't.
Ferriss, 4-Hour Workweek author, wonders what to do for 4 hours.
ISO 420.69: UberNerd certificate. Your parents are so proud.
Fidelity's 'soup strategy': your portfolio just got pureed.
VIX throws tantrum, blames unnamed AI for its feelings.
Bravery! Couple endures 150-mile move. Toast availability TBD.
Freedom's scaffold: duct tape & managerial bliss. Void ensues.