Case-Shiller Index Predicts All Homes Will Soon Be Made Of Dust

The impending release of the S&P CoreLogic Case-Shiller Home Price Index is poised to offer yet another fascinating glimpse into a housing market that increasingly resembles a game of musical chairs played exclusively by titans of industry. One can only assume the latest figures will confirm that the average domicile has achieved stratospheric value, meaning the only affordable option left for mere mortals is perhaps a well-maintained dust bunny under someone else’s mansion. We anxiously await confirmation that your dream home now requires a down payment equivalent to a small nation's GDP, or indeed, has spontaneously converted itself into a fine particulate matter.

Meanwhile, the morning’s bureaucratic ballet commences with the Producer Price Index from the venerable Bureau of Labor Statistics, ensuring that even as the cost of everything skyrockets, at least we have granular data to prove it. The associated mortgage rates, meticulously tabulated for "top tier scenarios" only, provide a comforting reassurance that while most people are pricing out of oxygen, a privileged few can still secure borrowing terms so favorable, one might suspect they’re being paid to take the loan.