Sunday Reads So Awful You'll Wish You Just Mowed The Lawn

One must truly commend the diligent investigative work that unearths such groundbreaking insights: a company helmed by a prolific online provocateur might, just *might*, find its product sales experiencing a slight chill. Yes, dear readers, it seems the world’s most discerning consumers are not entirely immune to the siren song of their billionaire CEO’s toxic politics. Who could have ever predicted that a penchant for divisive pronouncements might somehow, in an utterly unforeseeable twist of fate, impact the perceived desirability of an electric vehicle?

The analysis, no doubt painstakingly compiled, suggests that a staggering one million fewer Tesla units may have rolled off the assembly line due to this curious phenomenon. It’s almost as if purchasing decisions are sometimes, *just sometimes*, influenced by more than raw specifications. One almost feels for the sheer perplexity of discovering that repeatedly poking the collective beehive with a stick might lead to... well, fewer honey sales. A truly puzzling conundrum for the ages.