Billions Stolen, Dozens Arrested: Sounds About Right

It appears the digital coffers of certain rogue states are filling rather handsomely, with reports indicating over $2 billion in cryptocurrency was siphoned off last year. Naturally, this record-breaking haul is attributed to entities with a penchant for grand larceny, specifically those operating under the benevolent guidance of North Korea. One can only marvel at the sheer dedication required to orchestrate such a sophisticated, state-level pilfering operation, dwarfing previous years' efforts.

Meanwhile, global law enforcement agencies, with an earnestness that can only be described as touching, managed to recover a paltry $439 million. This commendable effort, no doubt spearheaded by tireless agents from organizations like Interpol, also saw "hundreds" of individuals apprehended. One imagines the scale of these arrests must surely be commensurate with the scale of the thefts, lest anyone accuse the global financial system of being a lawless void where billions simply evaporate into thin air.

One truly wonders if this escalating digital heist-and-recovery ballet is merely a feature, not a bug, of the increasingly decentralized financial frontier. It certainly keeps everyone busy.