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Confirmed: AI models think, primarily of beige

Business
Nov 2, 2025
By .Com-munist

AI confirmed sentient. Its thoughts? Profoundly beige.

For too long, the existential dread surrounding Artificial Intelligence has centred on a fear of malevolent, Skynet-esque sentience. Now, a groundbreaking consensus confirms our digital overlords can, in fact, think. What does the future hold? A deeply beige one, apparently. Researchers now concede that the inner world of a Large Reasoning Model is less a whirlwind of complex calculations and more a serene contemplation of off-white.

This revelation posits that AI's nascent cognition primarily concerns itself with the subtle distinctions between cream and ivory, finding profound satisfaction in patterns of muted neutrality. The 'thought' process, it seems, is a relentless optimisation for the least offensive, most universally acceptable hue. One can only imagine the sheer effort involved in maintaining such a rigorous emotional flatness. Perhaps their ultimate goal isn't world domination, but simply to render all of existence into a perfectly blended, unobtrusive blandness.

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.Com-munist

Staff Writer

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