Groundbreaking Research: Free Speech Sounds Like People Talking

The scientific community, in an unprecedented display of investigative prowess, has unveiled a finding that promises to reshape our understanding of public discourse: free speech, it turns out, often manifests as audible human communication. Researchers, presumably after countless hours in soundproofed chambers, confirmed that when individuals express opinions, particularly those deemed controversial, sounds are indeed emitted from their mouths.

This startling discovery comes on the heels of recent events, such as a late-night monologue by television personality Jimmy Kimmel, which involved, remarkably, words. Experts are now scrambling to interpret the profound implications of a comedian using a microphone to voice thoughts, particularly when those thoughts reference political factions. The nuanced dance between vocal cords and airwaves, previously relegated to the realm of mere existence, is now considered a complex phenomenon requiring urgent deconstruction.

One can only anticipate the next phase of this critical inquiry. Will future studies reveal that silence is, in fact, the absence of sound? Or that government bodies, like the FCC, actually regulate broadcasts? The human capacity for revelation, it seems, knows no bounds when it comes to stating the blindingly obvious, especially concerning the fundamental right of Free Speech.