Technology•
Sep 16, 2025
Investopedia Adds 'Fecal Futures' To Mainstream Asset List
Investopedia recognizes 'Fecal Futures' as a valid investment.
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Investopedia recognizes 'Fecal Futures' as a valid investment.
Blockchain proves every internet thought is a masterpiece.
Blockchain now feeds the hungry. No, really. It's decentralized!
BREAKING: ABC News covers current events. While they happen!
Financial strategists confirm: Earth is flat. Brunch-proven.
NFL peaked Week 1. Other 271 games are for tax purposes.
Forget allergies. Your vents are actively dissolving existence.
MONOWAVE: Your feelings, now a convenient toolbar. Revolutionary.
West braced for Chinese "offers." You *will* buy.
Dominion: Still suing people who think 2+2=potato.
Duplantis breaks another record. UN convenes: 'Is he one of us?'.
Monday Cartoon now official state religion. Praise panel!
Shocking: Job found terminable! Lawyer sues over basic concept.
NHL calm. Future so settled, players are now houseplants.
SEC bravely identifies the "good" imaginary internet money.
Earth's top minds dedicate tech to… cat poop smell.
Jail-built crypto offers 'uninterrupted focus.' Bullish on bars!
Nobel to guy who found humans are, well, human. Shocker.
Scientists confirm crypto can go lower than zero. Much lower.
CEO finds wealth on treadmill. Still on treadmill.
Cristin Milioti wins Emmy for 'Limited' series The.
Octopuses master multitasking, utterly fail at existential joy.
Nvidia's market share not centrally planned enough for Beijing.
DeFi: Just Dave and a rusty stapler.
France demands physical passports from imaginary internet money.
Barron picks college near Dad. Excellent career path planning.
Star Quaintance masterfully occupies court. ESPN breathless.
Eagles vs. Chiefs: IDKs prevail. Scoreboard now just an opinion.
Emmys awarded for 2025's unmade shows. Pure efficiency.
White House calculates your sorrow. Utility = max outrage points.