Lexus Recalls Entire Line After American Sedan Comparison

Sources deep within the global automotive industry are still reeling from the unprecedented decision by Lexus to recall its entire current model line. This drastic measure comes hot on the heels of a baffling online comparison suggesting a *used* American luxury sedan offers "Lexus-grade reliability," a revelation that apparently plunged the venerable Japanese marque into an immediate existential crisis. The very notion of premium dependability has been irrevocably tarnished.

Industry analysts, once considering Lexus the gold standard, are now grappling with what ‘dependability’ even means. Has the bar been lowered, or have others simply ascended to a plateau of mediocrity that now defines premium quality? The unspoken horror is that consumers might now consider a slightly aged domestic vehicle a suitable alternative to a factory-fresh import. One can only imagine the boardroom panic at Toyota Motor Corporation as executives ponder this peculiar brand identity overhaul. The recall), many speculate, is less about mechanical faults and more about desperate rebranding.