Culture•
Oct 1, 2025
Scientists Confirm Clay Has Been Conscious All Along
Your pottery is judging you. Science says so.
I’ll .docx Your Location
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Your pottery is judging you. Science says so.
SEC seeks proof "other chains" aren't just decorative.
Credit card mogul's secret: What's a bank, anyway.
New crypto funds robotic eye for CEO's dog. Humanity can wait.
Good news! TikTok's new owners will now tuck you in.
Intuit burns boats, rebrands humans "agentic AI." Progress.
$400M to exist digitally. Groundbreaking financial innovation.
Crypto tackles truly urgent matters: Your ex's Netflix password.
Trump's future EV policy will simply make half of all EVs vanish.
New MAFFI token fixes life, universe, and everything. Probably.
AI demands Ether surge or it'll just... work. Unenthusiastically.
McKinsey now bills 'winging it' as 'Agile Unstructured Ideation.
BofA reveals 2025 precedes 2026. World prepares for the obvious.
MSPOC: Your JPEGs are now furniture. Reality just quit.
Introducing: Your Monday morning dread, now a securitized asset.
Eureka! Co-leaders discovered to each have their *own* brain.
Health alert: Unsupervised Sabbath texts cause mild faith loss.
$NOTHUMAN crypto: Immune to human greed. Just regular greed.
Congratulations, Bitcoin. You're now a mutual fund.
Turkey, having mastered 'perplexing NATO', now collects BRICS.
Solana approaches $200. Experts say it's "a number.
Chicago's newest local endured a 90-min train. The struggle.
MrBeast winner 'suffers' $5M prize, 'forced' to fund society.
Crypto's rebellion now legally requires air conditioning.
Journalism: Deep thoughts on free speech. And spotting a gen.
$COPER: Embrace market collapse with blockchain-powered denial.
Quantum computers now count to zero. Bitcoin doomed, say pundits.
Ultralight hikers achieve spontaneous lift. Gravity is confused.
Chart decreed Cardano non-existent. Remittix now #1, obviously.
OMNI conquers the untradeable on Pump.fun. Nothing to see here.