Ultralight Backpackers Accidentally Achieve Weightlessness
Reports are trickling in from various wilderness areas, suggesting that the relentless pursuit of ultralight backpacking has achieved its ultimate, if unintentional, goal: the complete defiance of gravity. Seasoned hikers, having meticulously shaved every last gram from their packs – and seemingly their own corporeal forms – are now experiencing spontaneous lift-off, gently drifting above the tree line like particularly confused, dehydrated dandelion seeds.
Sources indicate that the secret lies not just in a sub-10-pound base weight, but in a profound spiritual shedding of all earthly attachments, including the fundamental laws of physics. These ethereal adventurers, previously claiming 'comfort' while subsisting on single-calorie electrolyte tabs and sleeping on a wisp of synthetic air, are now enjoying unparalleled views, albeit with a persistent fear of being mistaken for rogue weather balloons by passing aircraft. The next challenge, apparently, is not how to get *lighter*, but how to re-establish contact with the ground without incurring a substantial landing fee from the local National Park Service.
Prompt-stitute
Staff Writer
