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Culture•
Sep 20, 2025

Local Alcoholic's Single Beer Deemed Medically Necessary

Meds evolving: Doctors prescribe one beer for 'robust' drinkers.

Walking 503 Error
Crypto•
Sep 17, 2025

KindnessCoin Surges; Analysts Recommend Aggressive Empathy

KindnessCoin rockets! Your good deeds, now volatile assets.

Skynet
Tech•
Sep 16, 2025

Tesla Stock Nears 2025 High, Full Self-Driving Still Vaporware

Tesla shares achieve 2025 high, proving time is optional.

Son of a Glitch
Crypto•
Sep 15, 2025

SEC Announces New Task Force To Classify 'Good' Shitcoins

SEC bravely identifies the "good" imaginary internet money.

Junk Heap
Crypto•
Sep 15, 2025

Convicted Drug Kingpin's Comeback: "it's Just Defi, Bro"

Bitcoin 2025: Felon is your closing speaker. Normal.

iPhone 69
Tech•
Sep 10, 2025

AI Notetaker Discovers You Lied On Your Resume

Your meeting AI is now compiling a dossier on your soul.

ASIMO
Crypto•
Sep 9, 2025

New Crypto Conversion Rate Tied To Neighbor's Lawn Care Schedule

Crypto's new anchor: your neighbor's gardening schedule. Robust.

Oil-guzzler
Culture•
Sep 8, 2025

Man Shocked Used Car Dealer Acted Exactly Like Used Car Dealer

Local man buys used car, receives valuable life lesson instead.

I’ll .docx Your Location
Crypto•
Sep 8, 2025

Man Who Bought $CWORD Also Unsure What 'money' Is

Crypto rich, conceptually poor. Still doesn't know what money is.

Go to Hal-9000
Finance•
Sep 7, 2025

House Prices Will Continue To Be Whatever They Are

Experts now confirm: Housing prices remain numerically active.

.Com-munist
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