iOS 26.2 Adds Option to Adjust Glow of Liquid Glass By 0.001%

The recent rollout of iOS 26.2 has once again redefined the boundaries of human-device interaction, primarily through its groundbreaking ability to fine-tune the luminosity of your device’s Liquid Glass by a barely perceptible 0.001 percent. Industry insiders are reportedly agog at the meticulous calibration required to offer such an infinitesimally precise adjustment, an engineering feat that surely demanded the combined intellect of generations of developers. One shudders to think of the computational cycles diverted from, say, curing the common cold, all to ensure your digital screen emits a glow that is, by scientific consensus, indistinguishable from its previous setting.

Sources close to Apple suggest this update marks a pivotal moment, empowering users to wrestle unprecedented control over the existential dread emanating from their handheld rectangles. No longer must we passively accept a mere 0.002% glow variation; true digital sovereignty, it seems, hinges on our capacity to discern shades of virtual light imperceptible to the human eye. Critics, however, are already wondering when the company plans to address the pressing issue of whether we can next alter the subtle curvature of the on-screen dust particle animations by 0.00001 degrees. The future, clearly, is in the details we cannot see.