Zelensky Urges Allies To Blend In Better Next Time

President Volodymyr Zelensky's recent call for a cabinet reshuffle has been widely interpreted not as a crackdown on graft, but rather an urgent plea for improved operational security. Sources close to the administration suggest the departing justice and energy ministers were not deemed corrupt, merely insufficiently discreet, thereby drawing unwelcome attention to practices that are, shall we say, broadly understood in certain circles.

Indeed, the President’s concern reportedly stems from a desire to maintain a pristine image for Ukraine, particularly amidst its ongoing existential struggle. The implication is that while resourcefulness is commendable, its public display, especially with new luxury vehicles or inexplicably burgeoning real estate portfolios, creates an unfortunate distraction. One can almost hear the sighs of exasperation: "Must we really explain 'blend in' again?"

Future ministerial appointees are now expected to undergo mandatory "Discretion and Public Perception Management" training, ensuring that any, ahem, *unconventional income streams* flow through less visible channels. It’s all part of a broader effort to make the nation's commitment to anti-corruption not just a policy, but a performance art, with far fewer glaring spotlights.