Your Pixel Now Curates Notifications For Your Mental Well-Being

One might have, in their naive optimism, believed a new Google Pixel was simply a conduit for information. How delightfully antiquated! As it turns out, your device, in its infinite wisdom, has decided you’re far too fragile for the brutish cacophony of incoming alerts. Why bother with the full spectrum of reality when your phone can simply *filter* it for your delicate sensibilities?

This judicious culling of your digital inbox, disguised as a 'feature' for digital well-being, ensures you're shielded from the trivialities of, say, an important work email or a friend’s urgent plea. After all, who needs the anxiety of knowing what’s happening when you can blissfully exist in an ignorance carefully curated by an algorithm? It’s not a bug; it’s an evolution in technological paternalism, guiding us towards a less informed, yet undeniably *calmer*, existence. Perhaps soon, it will just read your texts and summarize them, or better yet, reply on your behalf. For your health, naturally.