World Cup Fans Sell Minor Organs For Stadium Pint

The eagerly awaited financial disclosures for next summer’s football extravaganza have finally emerged, detailing the precise cost of hydration at the various North American venues. Fans attending the upcoming World Cup across the U.S., Canada, and Mexico can now begin the delicate process of liquidating non-essential assets to fund their matchday refreshments.

Reports indicate a burgeoning online marketplace where supporters are already weighing the spiritual benefits of the beautiful game against the more tangible value of, say, a non-dominant kidney or a particularly healthy spleen. Such entrepreneurial spirit ensures even the most budget-conscious fan can afford at least one frosty pint, provided their physiological reserves are sufficiently robust. FIFA representatives were notably absent for comment on these innovative fan financing strategies.