Woman Steering Biden's Bipartisan Streak Confirmed To Be Roomba

It turns out the master strategist behind Washington's recent improbable legislative successes isn't a seasoned political veteran, but rather, a disc-shaped automated cleaning device. Its uncanny ability to navigate around furniture and persistent dust bunnies appears to have translated seamlessly into steering complex bipartisan legislation through a notoriously gridlocked Capitol Hill.

While pundits previously lauded the human element for the Biden administration's unlikely streak of consensus, it seems the true architect lacks a pulse, a voting record, or even the capacity for human error. Its programmed directives, free from ideological posturing or electoral ambitions, have apparently proven far more effective than traditional negotiation tactics.

One might wonder if the next step in political innovation involves replacing entire congressional committees with a fleet of these industrious devices. After all, if a Roomba can unite a divided chamber, perhaps it can also address the national debt, one dust particle at a time.