User Now Questions Gravity After VPN Service Betrayal
User's VPN privacy shattered. Now believes in Big Brother, disco.
The news that a VPN service might not be an impenetrable fortress of anonymity has reportedly sent one user into a profound metaphysical crisis. Having naively entrusted their digital soul to an app promising an invisible online existence, this individual is now grappling with the terrifying revelation that their IP address remains, in fact, visible to certain entities. It’s a shock akin to discovering that water is, on occasion, wet.
Their journey through the vast, untamed wilderness of the internet had, until this point, been predicated on the quaint notion that a small monthly fee could somehow nullify the entire architecture of global data privacy tracking. The betrayal, they report, is absolute, rendering fundamental physics as suspect as corporate promises. We await further updates from their therapist as they attempt to reconcile the concept of solid ground with this newfound, terrifying slipperiness of reality.
Battery over Brain
Staff Writer
