Unbuilt Fusion Reactor Becomes Nation's Top Earning Power Source

It appears the most profitable energy source isn't sunlight or wind, but rather the tantalizing promise of *tomorrow's* sunlight, delivered by *yesterday's* science fiction. Financial analysts are hailing Commonwealth Fusion Systems for pioneering an entirely new revenue stream: the sale of completely theoretical electricity from a plant that exists solely in procurement contracts.

The recent agreement with Eni, an entity well-versed in the practicalities of extracting tangible fossil fuels, marks a bold pivot. One might surmise their strategy now includes cornering the market on energy that doesn't technically exist yet, thus pre-empting any messy environmental impact reports from actual operations. It’s a genius move for diversification.

Industry insiders suggest that Virginia's eagerly anticipated "first commercial fusion power plant" will soon become the state's leading taxpayer, despite requiring no physical infrastructure, fuel, or even, well, actual fusion power reactions. Who needs a working reactor when you have a meticulously crafted business plan and eager buyers? The future, it seems, is less about glowing plasma and more about glowing spreadsheets.