Study: Ignorance Of Infrastructure Firms Linked To Local Potholes

One might be tempted to believe that the firms responsible for managing the world's most critical infrastructure would be intimately familiar with the practicalities of a crumbling overpass or the existential threat of a pothole. However, recent findings suggest a curious inverse correlation. It appears the more one delves into the intricate portfolios of these esteemed private equity behemoths, the less one understands why the road outside the local grocery remains an obstacle course.

Indeed, these are not mere road-builders, but rather highly sophisticated entities whose primary concern revolves around asset appreciation and quarterly returns for the discerning stock market investor. Their expertise lies not in the mundane application of asphalt, but in the nuanced art of financial engineering. To suggest they should possess an intimate knowledge of which municipal pipe burst last Tuesday, or precisely how many axles a local school bus loses to cratered streets annually, is frankly, rather uncouth. Their work, after all, is far too elevated for such gritty concerns.