Study Finds Boomers Still Residing In Properties They Purchased

A recent, exhaustive study has unearthed the truly astonishing revelation that Baby Boomers are, in fact, still residing within the very real estate properties they acquired several decades ago. This groundbreaking research confirms that the generation once known for free love and relatively affordable housing markets has, against all odds, maintained possession of said properties, rather than, say, spontaneously combusting or willingly ceding them to aspiring homeowners. Truly, the scientific method triumphs again.

Experts are currently scrambling to understand the implications of this unprecedented trend. While some posit it might simply be a result of them, you know, owning the properties, others suggest a more complex, perhaps even supernatural, force at play. Meanwhile, Millennials, reportedly still renting broom closets for astronomical sums, have expressed a mixture of profound shock and mild, existential despair at these truly unexpected findings. More on this as it develops, which it won't.