Rivka Galchen Confirms Carver's 'Elephant' Had Tusks

The literary world held its breath as acclaimed author Rivka Galchen delivered a bombshell revelation about Raymond Carver's enduring classic short story, "Elephant." After meticulous, presumably sleepless, nights of contemplation, Galchen has confirmed, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the titular pachyderm did indeed possess tusks. This earth-shattering insight, published for the discerning readers of The New Yorker, promises to reshape our understanding of not only elephants, but also, quite possibly, the very concept of "large, grey mammal."

For too long, scholars have grappled with the ambiguous nature of Carver's prose, leaving generations to wonder about the precise dental characteristics of his fictional beast. Thanks to Ms. Galchen's rigorous interpretive work, we can now finally rest assured. Her groundbreaking piece, which delves into the profound complexities of elephantine anatomy within the narrative framework, is already being hailed as a triumph of literary deconstruction. One can only imagine what other startling truths lie hidden in plain sight, awaiting the next brave intellectual to confirm the obvious. Perhaps a subsequent essay will address whether the elephant in question also had a trunk. The anticipation is, frankly, unbearable.