Refurbished Smart Speaker Only Responds To Ancient Sumerian

One might be forgiven for thinking that opting for `refurbished electronics)` offers a savvy path to modern convenience without the full brunt of capitalism's wallet-lightening effects. Indeed, the allure of a `smart speaker` at a deeply discounted rate, promising seamless integration into one's digital life, is undeniable. What isn't always advertised, however, are the unexpected firmware quirks that transcend a simple factory reset.

Take, for instance, the recent acquisition by one hapless consumer: a sleek, ostensibly modern voice assistant that, upon activation, displayed a peculiar affinity for linguistic archaeology. Despite countless attempts with standard English commands, it proved entirely unresponsive until a frustrated user, on a whim, attempted a phrase in `Ancient Sumerian`. "Šu-nir-gim šà-bi tùm-mu-dè," they reportedly uttered, requesting the weather, only for the device to promptly recite tomorrow's forecast for Nippur, circa 2100 BC.

It seems the "rigorous testing" process for these eco-friendly second-hand gadgets might occasionally overlook the finer points of language protocols, perhaps mistaking a deep system wipe for a cultural immersion program. One can only commend the device’s dedication to historical accuracy, even if it requires its owner to pursue a PhD in cuneiform just to set a timer.