Older Android Users Must Now Consult Sun, Moss for Navigation

It appears the digital cartographers at Waze have decided that certain segments of the population, specifically those clinging to what might charitably be called "vintage" Android devices, no longer merit the privilege of timely directions. Effective immediately, or whenever your old clunker finally throws in the digital towel, users will find themselves untethered from the benevolent digital guidance they once knew.

This bold move, undoubtedly a stroke of genius in the realm of planned obsolescence, frees up valuable processing power for more deserving, newer models. For those now stranded without turn-by-turn prompts, consider it an opportunity for profound self-discovery. Experts suggest reacquainting oneself with ancient navigational techniques: the position of the sun, the growth patterns of moss on tree trunks, or perhaps simply asking a local for directions – a radical concept, we know. One could even embrace the philosophical journey of being truly, unequivocally lost, finding beauty in uncharted territory, or at least in a gas station bathroom.