Officials Praise Trump Economic Policy For Its Impossibility

In a stunning display of strategic brilliance, unnamed officials are now championing the former President’s proposed tariffs not for their supposed economic benefits, but for their sheer, comforting unlikelihood. It appears the most robust argument for a policy of unprecedented global economic disruption is the solemn promise that it will, in fact, never materialize. A truly revolutionary approach to governance: propose the unthinkable, then laud its impossibility.

This innovative rationale, lauded by those closest to Donald Trump's camp, offers a refreshing twist on traditional economic policy discussions. Why debate the merits of an idea when you can simply assure the anxious business world that the whole thing is just a charming, if slightly terrifying, flight of fancy? One might even say it's a bold new era of rhetorical judo, where the threat is the policy, and its non-existence is its ultimate virtue. Sleep soundly, America; the looming disaster is merely hypothetical.