Noem Alleges Mayorkas Left Southern Border's Refrigerator Ajar

Governor Kristi Noem has once again graced the airwaves, this time to enlighten the masses on the perplexing conundrum of border management. Her recent revelations suggest that former Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas wasn't just *managing* the Southern Border; he was, in fact, orchestrating its literal ‘opening’ with the precision of a master locksmith. Apparently, his directives stemmed directly from a shadowy cabal within the Biden White House, a directive so potent it likely involved a memo titled, "Kindly Remove All Welcome Mats."

One can only imagine the sleepless nights endured by Secretary Mayorkas, not from the weight of policy, but perhaps from the sheer physical exertion of propping gates ajar. Ms. Noem's profound insight paints a picture of Mayorkas as a puppet, dancing to the strings of a clandestine "border czar"—a title that surely comes with a majestic cape and a scepter, perhaps even a tiny, decorative key. The idea that a complex geopolitical challenge could be reduced to a single individual's malevolent key-turning is, frankly, a refreshing simplification for our troubled times.