Next Nobel Prize Nominee Discovered In Deep Fryer

The scientific community, apparently weary of complex solutions, has stumbled upon its next great environmental panacea: last night’s chip fat. Researchers in Finland have, with an almost alarming lack of fanfare, announced that your spent sunflower oil can now salvage precious metals from our ever-growing piles of discarded gadgets. One must applaud their restraint; typically, such earth-shattering revelations involving a deep fryer warrant at least a national holiday.

This groundbreaking insight posits that the very grease we previously deemed a hazardous waste product is, in fact, the key to unlocking the invaluable silver embedded within our mountains of e-waste. Forget elaborate chemical processes or costly recycling initiatives; simply dunk your old phone in a vat of rancid oil, and voilà, planetary salvation is within reach, one greasy smartphone at a time. The Nobel Prize committee is reportedly clearing shelf space, presumably for a bottle of canola.