NTSB: Jesus Not On Board Plane That Killed Songwriter

The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) has concluded its preliminary investigation into the recent airborne incident, confirming a critical detail: the divine entity referenced in the popular anthem "Jesus, Take the Wheel" was definitively not present at the controls. This revelation comes after the untimely demise of the song's co-writer, a multi-Grammy-winning luminary, who met his end aboard a craft apparently operating without spiritual co-piloting.

Eyewitness accounts from the black box, a rather unpoetic recorder of final moments, indicate no discernible celestial intervention. Experts in aviation safety are now left to ponder the more prosaic realities of mechanical failure and human oversight, a decidedly less melodic narrative than the one penned for Carrie Underwood. One can only hope that, in future airborne endeavors, passengers remember to fasten their seatbelts and perhaps double-check the maintenance log, just in case the celestial ground crew is otherwise occupied.