Monday Cartoon Declared Official State Religion

The State’s legislative body, in a move widely applauded by some and utterly baffling to most, has formally elevated the "Monday Cartoon" to the exalted status of an official State religion. Citing its unparalleled ability to "riff on the latest news and happenings," lawmakers declared the single-panel drawing offers a unique, albeit ephemeral, path to spiritual enlightenment. Critics pointed out the separation of church and state has been delicately, yet decisively, nudged.

Adherents are now expected to engage in weekly contemplation of the cartoon's visual parables, gleaning existential truths from its often-perplexing gags. The newly formed Department of Graphic Theology has begun drafting liturgical guidelines, which notably change every seven days. A spokesperson for the legislature suggested this dynamic doctrine ensures the faith remains "highly relevant" and "responsive to contemporary anxieties."

Mandatory viewing sessions are slated for every Monday morning, replacing traditional civic duties. Citizens are encouraged to ponder the precise socio-political commentary conveyed by a bewildered pigeon or a particularly pointed office plant. The decision has sparked vigorous debate among constitutional scholars, whose arguments regarding the First Amendment are now being reinterpreted through the lens of stick figures. A new public holiday, "Ink-Mas," is expected next month.