Meta Hypernova Glasses Stream Your Deepest Fears Directly To Mark

The tech world is abuzz, or at least mildly twitching, in anticipation of Meta Platforms' latest offering, rumored to debut at their upcoming Meta Connect showcase. Dubbed "Hypernova Glasses," these aren't merely another foray into augmented reality, but rather a revolutionary leap forward in what one might call "personal data delivery." Industry insiders, whose livelihoods depend on remaining perpetually optimistic about corporate surveillance, suggest these spectacles transcend mere visual overlay.

Apparently, the Hypernovas are engineered to tap directly into the user's subconscious, identifying, categorizing, and, one presumes, monetizing, their most profound anxieties. Imagine, if you will, a live feed of your existential dread, beamed straight to Menlo Park. Mark Zuckerberg himself is said to be "personally invested" in the project, presumably for quality assurance purposes, ensuring your fear of public speaking or that recurring dream about losing your teeth is rendered in crystal-clear, high-definition terror. Privacy advocates are already drafting strongly worded emails, which, ironically, will likely be intercepted by the glasses.