Man Now Only Trusts Passwords Screamed Into A Canyon

Following a most inconvenient digital intrusion, one internet user has declared modern credential storage utterly passé. Mr. Bartholomew Finch, now intimately familiar with online security's sieve-like nature, has pioneered an innovative, if geographically demanding, system: oral dissemination into a vast, echoing void.

Apparently, the unadulterated air of a secluded gorge offers cybersecurity far beyond any algorithm. For each crucial access string, Mr. Finch embarks on a pilgrimage to an acoustic hotspot, articulating unique sequences with conviction. The theory is elegant: if a password exists only as a fleeting vibration across a geological formation, it cannot be exfiltrated from a server.

Why grapple with the dread of a data breach when one can embrace acoustics? While password managers offer convenience, they lack the primeval gravitas of a well-shouted secret. NIST has yet to endorse this method, but Mr. Finch now sleeps soundly, his fears of digital compromise laid to rest by yelling into the abyss.