League Prepares For Traditional Annual Shocking Disappointment

As the leaves turn and the collective delusion of a new season settles in, the annual ritual of “shocking disappointment” looms large over the NHL landscape. One might even call it a cherished tradition, right up there with overpriced beer and questionable refereeing. Indeed, the very premise of “expectations” in professional sports seems to hinge precariously on the guaranteed implosion of at least a third of the league’s hopeful contenders.

The genuine astonishment expressed by certain segments of sports journalism when a well-funded roster fails to achieve celestial perfection is truly a marvel to behold. One wonders if these prognosticators have ever attended a second-grade soccer match. Rest assured, a significant portion of the fanbase, having invested heavily in commemorative towels and the psychological well-being of strangers, will indeed experience the profound disillusionment they've come to expect.

It’s not disappointment if you’re not surprised, and frankly, who’s truly surprised anymore? The beauty of this cycle, of course, is that it ensures next year’s “shocking turnaround” articles write themselves, a self-sustaining ecosystem of manufactured drama.