Kushner Announces Plan To Shred His Diplomatic Vacuum

It appears the legendary Jared Kushner, architect of... well, *something*, is once again poised to captivate the global stage. Reports suggest he's on the verge of "shredding" what remains of his diplomatic standing. One might charitably inquire if this standing ever extended beyond the width of a single crisp dollar bill, or if this is merely a performative act of destroying an already non-existent document in the interests of dramatic flair.

His latest 'plan,' an initiative presumably crafted from unicorn dust and unwavering optimism, is the chosen instrument for this self-immolation. Flanked, as ever, by steadfast allies like Benjamin Netanyahu, one can only marvel at the consistent audacity required to repeatedly engage with the delicate intricacies of the Middle East peace process using the diplomatic equivalent of a sledgehammer.

Indeed, the world holds its breath, not in anticipation of a breakthrough, but in quiet bemusement at the sheer, unyielding commitment to proving that some vacuums, once created, truly resist all attempts at filling, even with the confetti of a shredded reputation. Perhaps his next endeavor will be to build a luxury condo on the Moon.