Hotels Stunned As 1.8% Of Travelers Remember How To Go Home

The global hospitality industry is currently reeling from a truly seismic shift in human behavior, as an estimated 1.8% of travelers apparently recalled the location of their primary residences. Data from the esteemed number-crunchers at STR reveals this unprecedented exodus, leaving luxury suites suspiciously empty and bellhops wondering if their existence still held meaning. Experts are grappling with the ramifications of this radical new trend: people *leaving* hotels.

It appears the summer months saw a concerning drop in international tourism, depriving many establishments of their usual complement of bewildered foreigners. As if that weren't enough, the subsequent fall season brought with it a surge of what analysts are now calling "domestic travel," a baffling phenomenon where individuals remain within their own country's borders. The implications for the future of forced mini-bar consumption remain unclear, but suffice it to say, the industry is shaken to its core by this alarming normalcy.