Google Quantum Computer Discovers Best Way To Fold Fitted Sheet

The momentous news from Google's quantum research facility near Santa Barbara, California, has finally arrived. After countless billions invested and decades of theoretical speculation, their flagship quantum computer has delivered a truly paradigm-shifting discovery. Humanity can finally rest easy, for the elusive, almost mythical challenge of folding a fitted sheet has been definitively conquered. Yes, the quantum realm, once thought to hold the secrets of the universe, has instead revealed the optimal technique for wrangling elasticated cotton.

Researchers, reportedly "elated" in the tranquil Santa Barbara sunshine, detailed how the machine processed an unimaginable number of folding permutations before arriving at a method that promises unparalleled domestic efficiency. While some cynics may question the allocation of such advanced computational power – a quantum computer capable of simulating molecular structures, perhaps, or developing world-saving algorithms – to what amounts to high-tech laundry advice, the implications are profound. Imagine a future where every household chore is optimized by an inscrutable black box. The revolution begins, not with a bang, but with a perfectly folded duvet cover.