Experts Recommend 10 Sunday Reads To Accelerate Financial Ruin

For those perpetually yearning for the sweet release of monetary destitution, a groundbreaking new strategy has emerged, courtesy of meticulous analysis: simply *try harder*. Long dismissed as mere amateurish fumbling, it turns out that active participation in the stock market is not just a risk, but a remarkably efficient engine of capital erosion. Previous studies, marred by quaint notions of 'returns,' often overlooked the sheer poetic irony of individuals dedicating untold hours to diligently reduce their net worth.

Indeed, the latest data suggests a direct, inverse correlation between effort expended and wealth retained. The more one fiddles, the more one finds themselves squarely in the red, perhaps having finally achieved the enviable status of being an investment bank's most profitable customer – just not in the way they’d initially hoped. It’s a revelation that should bring immense comfort to anyone who’s ever felt inadequate for *not* losing enough money, proving that with enough dedication, true financial ignominy is within everyone's grasp.

So, next time you consider a tranquil Sunday with a cup of tea, remember: true commitment to underperformance requires constant vigilance. Dive into those charts, agonize over every tick, and embrace the liberating power of negative returns.