Experts Praise Trump Economic Plan's Brilliant Non-Implementation

The economic genius of Donald Trump’s proposed global tariffs has been revealed not in their potential impact, but in their dazzling capacity for non-implementation. Financial analysts, no doubt wiping away tears of sheer relief, are hailing the hypothetical nature of the policy as a revolutionary approach to fiscal strategy. It appears the most effective way to stimulate confidence in the business world is to float a profoundly disruptive idea, then have trusted advisors whisper sweet nothings about how it will never actually see the light of day. A true testament to modern governance: the threat is the policy.

Indeed, the market’s collective sigh of relief at the prospect of these tariffs remaining firmly in the realm of theoretical discourse suggests a paradigm shift. Why bother with the messy realities of execution when the mere *suggestion* of economic self-sabotage, followed by reassurances of utter inaction, can soothe the savage beast of global trade? It's a strategy so subtle, so profoundly cynical, it might just be the most brilliant thing Donald Trump has ever almost done.