EV Tax Credits Declared Brain Dead; Family To Pull Plug

The nation collectively lowered its collective brow this week as news broke regarding the official unplugging of the Electric Vehicle Tax Credit. After a prolonged period of legislative life support and a steady decline in meaningful impact, sources close to the fiscal decision-makers confirmed the policy’s vital signs had flatlined. Its passing was not unexpected, given its history of baffling eligibility criteria and its uncanny ability to benefit mostly those who least needed the inducement to purchase a rather expensive new automobile.

Bereaved luxury car dealerships are reportedly "re-evaluating market strategies," while the average citizen, who perhaps once harbored a fleeting fantasy of an affordable electric commute, simply shrugged. The Internal Revenue Service (IRS), in a remarkably understated memo, acknowledged the credit’s termination, presumably freeing up countless man-hours previously dedicated to explaining why your new, modestly-priced sedan didn't quite qualify but your neighbor’s six-figure SUV magically did. One can only hope its legacy inspires future, equally transparent and broadly accessible government initiatives.