Critics Name Best Books of 2025 Before Authors Finish Writing

The literary critics have, in a move that can only be described as visionary, unveiled their definitive list of 2025’s finest reads. One must marvel at such unparalleled foresight, discerning masterpieces not from finished manuscripts, but presumably from particularly compelling elevator pitches, or perhaps even fleeting cerebral impulses deep within the authors’ unconscious minds. This remarkable feat of prescience undoubtedly simplifies matters for the entire publishing industry, as books need no longer bother with the tiresome process of actual completion, editing, or even existence, to achieve critical acclaim.

Indeed, authors can now breathe a collective sigh of relief, knowing their yet-to-be-written narratives have already been thoroughly dissected and deemed "essential." Gone are the days of anxious waiting for reader feedback; now, the accolades arrive before the ink has dried – or, more accurately, before the ink has even been purchased. It truly revolutionizes the concept of literary review, propelling it into a dimension where judgment precedes creation, and "best of" lists are less about reading and more about pure, unadulterated critical speculation.