CNN Political Briefing Reveals Everything Is Just So Much

It's a brave new world where the entirety of human governance, the relentless churn of global affairs, and the delicate dance of legislative gridlock can be condensed into a brief moment, akin to a particularly potent espresso shot of despair. One can almost hear the gears of democracy grinding to a halt, or perhaps merely skipping a few vital teeth, as seasoned commentators valiantly attempt to distill the sum total of our collective anxieties into a segment shorter than your average coffee break.

The promise of knowing "everything you need to know" in such a truncated format is, of course, deeply reassuring. Why bother with the cumbersome details, the nuances, or indeed, the actual implications, when a succinct auditory experience from CNN can deliver the illusion of comprehension? We are, after all, busy people, and a mere ten minutes dedicated to understanding the complex tapestry of political news is clearly ample. One might even argue it’s too much time for such trifling matters.