Business Officially Declared Non-Optional

The long-rumored "Declaration of Non-Optional Economic Participation" has officially entered into force, rendering the very concept of "leisure" a historical curiosity. Henceforth, every individual, regardless of their quaint aspirations for a life free of spreadsheets, is enjoined to engage in constant commercial endeavor. A special task force, rumored to be operating under the auspices of a newly formed Global Productivity Alliance, will ensure compliance, with daily quotas for "value creation" now replacing morning exercise routines.

Critics, predominantly those still clinging to the pre-2025 fantasy of "hobbies," have been gently reminded that even personal interests can be optimized for profitability. Your meticulously curated stamp collection? A nascent e-commerce venture. Your existential dread? A prime candidate for bespoke consulting services aimed at monetizing emotional labor. The International Monetary Fund is reportedly developing frameworks to integrate the "sleep economy" into national GDP calculations, ensuring no moment is truly unproductive. The new normal, it seems, is simply more normal.