Blumhouse Inks Deal With 'Something' To Adapt Its Own Work

Blumhouse, the purveyor of cinematic jumpscares and existential dread, has once again demonstrated its unparalleled business acumen by partnering with ‘Something’ to bring ‘Something Is Killing the Children’ to both the big and small screens. It’s a truly inspired move, cementing the studio’s commitment to collaborating with… well, ‘Something.’ One can only assume this 'Something' is a notoriously elusive entity, perhaps a shadowy consortium of unseen forces, or maybe just an especially aggressive content algorithm that finally achieved sentience.

The original graphic novel, praised for its innovative monster-slaying narrative, will now receive the prestigious double-dip treatment: a live-action series and an animated venture. Because, evidently, if ‘Something’ is indeed killing the children, one medium simply isn’t enough to fully explore the nuances of… whatever ‘Something’ is. Fans can look forward to a cinematic universe where the true horror isn't the monsters, but the relentless churn of intellectual property adaptation, ensuring that no stone (or child) is left unturned in the pursuit of compelling content. One hopes ‘Something’ eventually catches a break, perhaps a quiet retirement, but knowing Hollywood, it’ll be killing children for decades to come across every conceivable platform.