Barron Enrolls In 'Strategic Proximity To Dad' Major

It appears young Barron Trump has charted a truly independent course for his higher education, selecting an institution that conveniently places him within easy commuting distance of his father, Donald Trump. This astute choice, widely lauded by those who believe geography is destiny, suggests a profound understanding of modern career development – specifically, the kind where proximity to the patriarch is a core curriculum requirement.

One can only speculate about the bespoke academic programs on offer. Perhaps a minor in "Executive Scheduling & Golf Course Logistical Management," or a concentration in "Branding via Social Media (Personal & Paternal)." It’s a bold new model for student life, where campus activities likely include impromptu strategy sessions and mandatory attendance at rallies. The notion of a young man exploring his own path, free from parental influence, remains a quaint concept for another era. Clearly, the future of this particular political dynasty is being meticulously planned, one meticulously located campus at a time.