Aspiring 007s Must First Master Their Browser's 'Private' Tab

The esteemed GCHQ, bastion of British digital prowess, has unveiled a groundbreaking recruitment initiative: a dark web portal designed to lure the next generation of secret agents. Apparently, the global hunt for intrepid operatives has devolved to trolling forums with the digital equivalent of a "Help Wanted" sign. Crucially, successful applicants, particularly those of Russian nationality, must possess the truly elusive skill of operating a Virtual Private Network. One can only imagine the arduous training regimen: "Step one: Locate the 'on' button. Step two: Don't click the link promising free *Robux*."

It appears the days of mastering a Walther PPK or outwitting a supervillain are firmly behind us. Modern espionage now demands an intimate understanding of incognito tabs and the profound ability to clear one's browser history before mum finds the questionable search terms. Truly, the bar for international intrigue has been raised – or perhaps, utterly collapsed – into the realm of basic internet hygiene. We look forward to the next innovation: agents being selected based on their ability to avoid phishing emails.