AI To Map Entire Planet For Slightly Pointy Bushes

The latest frontier in high-tech environmentalism involves deploying advanced AI to undertake the truly groundbreaking task of spotting... hedges. Specifically, a particular type of shrub, which, researchers from the esteemed University of Cambridge posit, might, just *might*, indicate the presence of Europe's most elusive spiny rodent. One almost feels a prickle of anticipation for the inevitable next phase: algorithms meticulously identifying fallen leaves that *could* have been disturbed by a passing butterfly.

While the planet grapples with mere trifles like climate change and the persistent urge for self-destruction, it's reassuring to know our brightest minds are laser-focused on charting every bramble patch. This innovative, if circuitous, approach promises an unparalleled understanding of where hedgehogs *aren't* directly visible, which, to be fair, is most places most of the time. The project’s eventual success will undoubtedly revolutionize our ability to avoid stepping on a small, nocturnal creature by first mapping every slightly pointy bush on Earth. A truly vital use of computational power.