News•
Sep 12, 2025
Report: Poor People Don't Exist, Social Security Problem Solved
Expert: SS saved if poor just... aren't poor. Crisis overblown.
Oil-guzzler
Showing 31-60 of 89 articles
Expert: SS saved if poor just... aren't poor. Crisis overblown.
Gunshots are the new political applause. So clear.
Daily doodle deployed precisely. The fabric of reality holds.
Fed stills, awaiting cosmic realignment. CPI data too profound.
Old wars were boring. New US conflict: 'wokeness'. Much better.
New "grimoire" just wants your internet history. Forever.
Outrage: Living man's theoretical cadaver lacks pre-eulogy.
Reality postponed. Turns out, facts are a major inconvenience.
NATO's big reveal: Flying things... actually fly! Who knew?
Broadcom stock soars, fueling CEO's crucial teak-shade dilemma.
Q2 earnings fixed "turmoil." Exploding banks? Just a phase.
Global war averted: drone landed on a roof, not the *right* roof.
FBI declares war on 'mild disappointment' QR codes. Nation yawns.
Your meeting AI is now compiling a dossier on your soul.
Monopoly round ends. Putin's final word: drones.
Pentagon's new algorithm: perfect boiled eggs. National security.
Fox News: 'Truth' finally clears our accounting department.
New trust funds tie payouts directly to child's meltdowns.
Official: "Signature" is a deeply personal interpretation.
Domestic archaeology: Old toaster still toasts. Panic ensues.
Resident baffled: "IRS cares about my cash?"
Shrek 15 confirmed for 2135. Even the AI is exhausted.
1M jobs were just minimized in a spreadsheet. Carry on.
Smartest now manually operate lungs. Autonomy is so last year.
Second Coming: Figured it out, then deleted his account.
Former President: Signature? Rogue pen acted alone.
IRS consults a time traveler from 3045 for.
Consumers meditate, box in stores instead of shopping.
Jeter's guest annex: $1300/night. Experience *a* room.
Court: Trump's words = $83.3M. A modest sum, really.